Breaking Free: Choosing the Carnivore Diet for Personal Transformation

 

Life often throws unexpected challenges our way, and dealing with the loss of loved ones can leave deep emotional scars. I found solace in food, which led to an unhealthy pattern of binge eating. However, after experiencing the passing of my mother and caring for my father until his final moments, I realized it was time to break the cycle. This blog aims to shed light on my decision to embrace the carnivore diet as a means to reclaim my health, overcome emotional triggers, and create a positive change in my life.

Following my mother's passing, I found solace in food. Binge eating became my coping mechanism, one that felt impossible to break free from. The compounding stress of simultaneously caring for my father, who moved in with us for three months before his passing, only intensified the emotional burden I carried.

It was during this tumultuous period that I unearthed the concept of the carnivore diet. After thorough research and discussions with friends, I came to understand its potential benefits. The simplicity of a primarily meat-based diet appealed to me, providing a sense of structure and control that I had lost.

The decision to embark on the carnivore diet was fueled by a desire to break free from the unhealthy binge eating cycle that I had inherited from my mother. I recognized that maintaining her destructive relationship with food would only perpetuate the cycle of emotional turmoil.

While I am optimistic about the carnivore diet's potential to improve my health, I am also aware of the looming challenges. Binge eating has woven its way into my life, lurking as a potential response to stress. However, I am determined to face these challenges head-on, armed with the support of my faith, the love of my family, and my newfound commitment to self-care.

Attempting any transformation can feel like dancing on the edge of a volcano, waiting for the next eruption. But with unwavering faith, along with the support of those around me, I feel empowered to defy the odds. I am choosing my health over destructive habits, determined to rewrite my story and create a better future.

The carnivore diet serves as a catalyst for positive change in my life. With its focus on nutritionally dense meals and the elimination of trigger foods, I believe it has provided the foundation for a healthier relationship with food and help me make significant strides towards achieving my goals. This journey not only impacts my physical wellbeing but also holds the potential to transform my mindset and emotional resilience.

The decision to embark on the carnivore diet represents a critical turning point in my life, where I am choosing to break free from the destructive cycle of binge eating. Through this journey, I am reclaiming control, restoring my health, and forging a brighter future. While the path may be challenging at times, I have faith in God's guidance and the unwavering support of my family to sustain me. By choosing a healthier lifestyle, I am embarking on a transformative journey towards holistic well-being, ready to leave behind the shadows of the past and embrace the light of a new chapter.

In But Not A Part Of (Denominationalism)

 

What is the purpose of this blog? Perhaps for me, it is a way to vent frustration, and perhaps for other pastors in similar situations, it is a way to open the door for dialogue. I find myself in a unique situation, having a church located in the same city as our Assembly of God (A/G) district headquarters. Additionally, it is home to Spencer Lake Christian Center and an area where many retired pastors end up. However, there is also another well-established A/G church that has been around as long as the A/G district headquarters.

I want to clarify that I don't have any gripes with the established A/G church in town that has been around for decades longer than Radiant Fellowship. Nonetheless, I have noticed an interesting trend during my 20 years of living here - retired pastors gravitate towards the established church where they attend and many volunteer their time since they have more free time on their hands.

It's hard not to become somewhat jaded about the area and the A/G when you constantly feel like an outsider. Sure, if they need photography done or other tasks, they come calling; however, it never seems like they genuinely want to just hang out. It has been strongly suggested and emphasized by all pastors that our head honcho is our pastor; yet pastoral care seems lacking. Undoubtedly there are many pastors and churches to look after but when conversations only happen regarding credential renewal or other business matters... one can't help but feel somewhat put off.

I wasn't involved in North Central University - the A/G university my district strongly endorses. Instead, I attended a smaller college course in Milwaukee through the A/G which allowed me to stay home while working towards my credentialing. While it holds equal value in terms of credentials from their perspective committee-wise; I discovered years ago that if you are not part of the good ol' boys club associated with larger universities, you are viewed quite differently. You will never be part of the inner circle.

All of this leads me to say the following: Do I love the A/G? Absolutely. Am I let down, though? Absolutely. There was a time, as I believe is true for many youth pastors and others, that if they move to the city where their district office is located, it will be something truly special and they will feel like part of the team. However, that notion is nothing but a fallacy. I still feel like the lone ranger. Perhaps once a year, I receive an email saying 'we prayed for you,' but where does a pastor go when they need pastoral care? I can tell you it won't happen within these circles; therefore, pastors who fly under the radar and are not viewed as part of the crowd must take care of themselves. Where else is there to turn other than to the Lord?

For all you pastors out there who feel like lone rangers, find your strength in the Lord and get used to it. I am not saying this from someone who has only been in this situation for a year or two; it has been over two decades and I am still going strong. There have been no calls from other pastors' wives asking if my wife would like to grab lunch together - it has been a desolate place at times - but our church congregation has been great support for us. We find more sustenance there than we will ever see from leadership.

Keep on keeping on and take care of yourselves.

Nurturing Growth in a Smaller Church: The Challenge of Transient Congregants

In the realm of faith communities, churches come in all shapes and sizes. While larger congregations often have more resources and visibility, smaller churches hold their own unique charm and sense of community. However, one challenge that smaller churches frequently face is the difficulty of fostering growth when individuals are quick to move on to what they perceive as bigger and better opportunities elsewhere. In this blog post, we will explore the impact of transient congregants on the growth of smaller churches and discuss strategies for nurturing a thriving community.

In today's fast-paced world, it's not uncommon for people to seek out new experiences or pursue what they perceive as greener pastures. This mindset can extend to their spiritual lives as well. Individuals may be enticed by larger congregations with grander facilities, extensive programs, or renowned speakers. While these factors can indeed offer enriching experiences, it is important to recognize that size does not necessarily equate to spiritual depth or meaningful connections.

Growing a church requires commitment from both its leaders and its members. When individuals constantly hop from one congregation to another seeking something "bigger" or "better," it becomes challenging for a smaller church to establish stability and foster long-term growth. Building relationships takes time; investing in a community means being willing to weather challenges together.

To counteract the allure of bigger opportunities elsewhere, smaller churches must focus on creating an engaging community that meets the needs and desires of its members. This involves fostering authentic relationships through small group gatherings, social events, mentorship programs,and service opportunities within the local community.

Smaller churches have an advantage when it comes to providing personalized attention and support for individual spiritual growth journeys. By offering intentional discipleship programs, mentorship opportunities, and relevant teaching, smaller churches can create an environment where congregants feel seen, heard, and supported in their personal growth.

Smaller churches often possess unique strengths that larger congregations may lack. These strengths can include a strong sense of community, close-knit relationships,family-like atmosphere,and the ability to adapt quickly to changing needs. By celebrating these qualities and highlighting the benefits they bring to individuals' spiritual lives, smaller churches can attract those seeking a more intimate and meaningful experience.

Growing a smaller church in the face of transient congregants is undoubtedly challenging. However, by focusing on creating an engaging community that meets individual needs,prioritizing authentic relationships,and emphasizing personal growth opportunities,a smaller church can thrive despite the allure of bigger opportunities elsewhere. Let us remember that true spiritual growth is not solely dependent on size or external factors but rather on our commitment to nurturing genuine connections with God and one another within our faith communities.

Moving Forward...It's What Our Loved Ones Would Want

 

Life is a journey filled with both joyous moments and heart-wrenching challenges. For me, the past few years have been particularly difficult as I navigated the loss of my beloved mother in 2018 and, more recently, my dear father just a month ago. The pain of their absence still lingers, and there are moments when tears flow freely. However, amidst the grief, I have come to realize that it's time to honor their memory by embracing life once again. In doing so, I find solace in the love and support of my incredible family, extended family and in-laws while cherishing the knowledge that my parents were genuinely proud of me.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone we hold dear. It manifests itself differently for each person and can be overwhelming at times. It's important to acknowledge these emotions without judgment or guilt. There will undoubtedly be moments when tears well up unexpectedly or memories flood our minds with bittersweet nostalgia. These moments are not signs of weakness but rather reminders of the deep love we shared with our departed loved ones.

During times of loss, family becomes an invaluable source of strength and comfort. Surrounding ourselves with loved ones who understand our pain can provide solace like no other remedy can offer. Sharing stories about our parents' lives, reminiscing about cherished memories together, or simply being present for one another during difficult days can help ease the burden we carry.

Our parents played an instrumental role in shaping who we are today through their love, guidance, and unwavering support. While they may no longer physically be by our side, their spirit lives on within us - reminding us that they would want nothing more than to see us thrive even in their absence.

As time passes since losing my parents, I have come to realize that life is a precious gift. It's a gift that our loved ones would want us to embrace fully, even in the face of adversity. While grief may never completely fade away, it can coexist with joy and gratitude for the life we still have ahead of us.

As I embark on this journey of healing and self-discovery, I am filled with hope for what lies ahead. The holiday season may bring forth new challenges as we navigate these "firsts" without our parents, but it also presents an opportunity for growth and resilience. By honoring their memory through acts of kindness, pursuing our passions wholeheartedly, and cherishing the love we shared with them, we can find solace in knowing that they are forever proud of us.

Losing loved ones is undoubtedly one of life's greatest challenges. However, amidst the pain and sorrow lies an opportunity to honor their memory by embracing life once again. While there will still be moments when tears flow freely and grief feels overwhelming, finding strength in family support and remembering our parents' pride can help guide us towards a brighter future. As I navigate this upcoming holiday season filled with "firsts," once again with dad being gone, I am going to hold onto hope while cherishing the love that continues to connect us all.

It is important for me and others going through loss that you/me are not alone on this journey; together, we can find solace in moving forward while keeping cherished memories alive within our hearts.

Embracing the Unexpected: Navigating Life as a 49-Year-Old Orphan

 

Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs at us, and one such curveball is finding ourselves navigating the world as an orphan in our late forties. Losing both parents can be an incredibly challenging experience, regardless of age. However, being a 49-year-old orphan presents its own unique set of circumstances that can leave us feeling bewildered, yet resilient. In this blog post, I want to explore the various emotions and challenges that come with this unexpected journey while also highlighting ways to embrace life's twists and turns.

Losing both parents at any age is undoubtedly heartbreaking. As a 49-year-old orphan, it's essential to give yourself permission to grieve fully. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions that arise - sadness, anger, confusion - without judgment or guilt. Remember that it's okay not to have all the answers right away.

During times like these, having a strong support system becomes crucial in helping you navigate through your grief and adjust to your new reality as an adult orphan. Reach out to friends, family members or consider joining reaching out to others who have experienced similar losses.

While being an adult orphan may feel overwhelming initially, it also presents an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. Embrace your newfound independence by exploring hobbies or interests you've always wanted to pursue but never had the chance before.

As time goes on after losing both parents, memories become even more precious treasures in our hearts. Take time to reminisce about happy moments spent with them and honor their memory by creating new traditions that celebrate their lives during special occasions or holidays.

Being an adult orphan doesn't mean you're alone in the world. Reach out to extended family members, such as aunts, uncles, or cousins, who can provide additional support and a sense of belonging. Reconnecting with relatives can help fill the void left by your parents' absence.

If you find yourself struggling to cope with the loss and adjust to your new reality as an adult orphan, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists or grief counselors can provide valuable guidance and support during this challenging time. Though I never officially saw a professional counselor in an office setting, God has blessed me with a couple of great Christian licensed counselors and I have reached out to them. It was and is a great benefit. 

In addition to seeking professional help, consider building a network of friends who understand your situation and offer emotional support when needed. Surrounding yourself with positive influences can make all the difference in navigating this unique journey.

Being a 49-year-old orphan may seem strange at first glance, but it's important to remember that life has its own way of unfolding unexpectedly for each one of us. While losing both parents is undoubtedly difficult at any age, embracing this new chapter in life allows us to grow stronger and discover our own resilience along the way. By acknowledging our feelings, seeking support from loved ones and professionals alike, cherishing memories while creating new traditions - we can navigate this journey with grace and find solace in knowing that we are not alone on this path called life.

Home Hospice and Kids

 

When a loved one requires hospice care and eventually passes away, it can be an emotionally challenging time for everyone involved. As parents, we strive to protect our children from the pain and sadness that comes with such experiences. However, finding the right balance between shielding them from certain aspects while still allowing them to process their emotions can be a delicate task. 

The day that my dad passed away, I implemented a plan as Tracy was at work. The kids knew he was imminent but of course I used age appropriate language to explain the situation. Though we did not know when my dad was going to pass, it was evident from the hospice nurse visit that day that things were looking pretty bleak. 

While Noah was watching TV, I explained to James and Emma the situation. I told them that when grandpa passes away, I am going to ask them to take Noah to the park. James is 15 and Emma is 14 and had a clear understanding of what was going on. They would occasionally go into my dad’s room and say hi or chat a bit. Noah however, being 7 did not fully grasp what was going on. He saw my dad in the bed and would on occasion come in to say hi.

Within a short time, my dad passed and I called James and Emma to my bedroom. I told them that they need to take Noah to the park now for about an hour. After an hour they can go to the gas station and buy an ice cream and return to the park. They were absolute rockstars and followed my directions. The reason for this is that I did not want them nor Noah to see the funeral home arrive to take my dad out of the home. During this time, I called Tracy at work and she headed for home right away to occupy the kids. 

Here are some things that I have learned through that process when it comes to having kids in the house when a loved one passes away in home hospice. .

1. Open Communication:

During times of illness or end-of-life care, it is crucial to maintain open communication with your children. Be honest about what is happening while using age-appropriate language to explain the situation. Encourage them to ask questions and express their feelings without judgment.

2. Preparing for Loss:

While it may be tempting to shield children from witnessing certain aspects of death, it's important to consider their individual needs and preferences. Some children may find comfort in being present during these moments as they say goodbye or witness funeral home proceedings, while others may prefer not to participate directly. The older kids knew exactly what was going on. Noah just knew grandpa was very sick. He asked the social worker that morning if what grandpa had was contagious. 

3. Creating Safe Spaces:

In situations where children might feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable with certain aspects of end-of-life care or funeral arrangements, creating safe spaces becomes essential. This could involve arranging activities outside the home during sensitive moments or providing opportunities for them to engage in comforting activities that allow them space for reflection. I am so thankful that the social worker dropped off resources for the kids, specifically Noah. 

4.Supporting Sibling Relationships:

If you have multiple children experiencing loss together, encourage open dialogue among siblings so they can share their feelings with one another. This can help them process their emotions and provide a support system within the family unit.

5. Honoring Memories:

Remembering and celebrating the life of the loved one who has passed away is an important part of the healing process for children. Encourage them to share stories or participate in activities that honor their grandparent's memory. I told the family the other night that from here on out on my mom’s birthday we will have dinner at the Rose Garden (her favorite Waupaca restaurant). For my dad’s birthday we will have dinner at the Truck Stop as this was his favorite place for carryout. 

Dealing with hospice care and loss within a family can be incredibly challenging, especially when it involves young children. By maintaining open communication, creating safe spaces, etc. We can help our children navigate this difficult time with love and understanding. Remember that each child's grieving process is unique; therefore, providing individualized support is crucial to their emotional well-being as they cope with the loss of a beloved grandparent.

A Son’s Journey Into Hospice Care

 

There are many blogs that pertain to hospice care, but there are very few that talk about the scary side of hospice care. It is my desire to talk about what one can expect when you have a loved one that transitions quickly into what is called "imminent." Allow me to paint for you the beautiful to scary parts of hospice that you might not always hear.

There has to be an understanding that hospice care means so much to so many different people. For some, it can last a long time, and for others, just a short amount of time. As long as a person is digressing, the person can stay in the care of hospice. There comes a point where the person can no longer step on a scale, and so the medical professionals will resort to measuring arm circumference. The hospice staff resorted to that quickly after it became a lot for my dad to get out of bed.

The journey began for my father over a month ago when the medical staff did all they could for him. The joy of hospice care (and Medicare) is that the person receives regular in-home visits from the medical staff. All of my dad's supplies came at no cost. The social worker and nurse were fantastic people to work with. They always made it a priority to treat my dad with the utmost respect and dignity. Up until Thursday, August 27th, my dad would take a walk down the hall to do one load of laundry and maybe grab his mail. That all changed on the 28th when he could no longer get out of bed. Again, this blog will go into detail regarding what a person will deal with as a loved one goes into hospice care. I realize every story is different, but so many of them have similarities.

When my dad first moved to Waupaca in 2019, I would call him every other day. Many times it was every day. During the fall of 2022, I noticed a spot on the back of my dad's blue jeans, and that is when the downward spiral began. At this point, I was taking dad almost daily to his medical appointments and called every day. After wound care and other medical officials did all they could, I reminded my dad that he could move in with us. On the 28th, I came in to visit him that morning, and due to the fact he couldn't get out of bed, he ended up having an accident in the bed. It was at that moment the nurse showed up and changed him, etc. It sent me into a bit of a shock not knowing what to do, so I watched what they did. I learned that day that you can change a bed without having a person leave the bed. All CNAs and nurses already know this, but I never knew.

This went on for another day, and then my dad finally told his nurse, "I am moving in with my son." I was honored, scared, and more. It was at that moment we began to move Emma out of her bedroom and into a makeshift room in our basement. On Tuesday, August 1st, the hospital bed, commode, and bedside table were delivered to my house. The very next day, we moved my dad in. Gold Cross Ambulance came after I attempted to move him myself by getting him into a wheelchair and into the mobility taxi per the nurse's suggestion. My attempt failed, which is why we brought in Gold Cross. They could not get the gurney into his bedroom, so they used what looked like a big tarp with handles on it. They carried him out that way and put him onto the gurney. The same tactic was used to get him into his new bedroom at my house. This was very emotional to see, but I knew it had to be done.

The first night he was at our house on Wednesday, August 2nd I had a school board meeting to be at. Dad was comfortable in his room and ate just a little bit. His appetite changed drastically. I had to place his meds in his mouth and hold the bottle of water with a straw so that he could drink. That wasn’t the only bottle I had to hold. When someone is in hospice care, ready or not you are going to do things you may have never thought you would do and this was one of those times. My dad had to urinate and because he was so weak and slipping mentally, I held the urinal bottle for him so that he could relieve himself. Shortly there after he dirtied his adult pull-up and so I had to spring into action to change him. I was a wreck that night after doing all of that and fell asleep in tears and completely shocked. Nonetheless he is my dad and I was happy to do it. 

On Thursday morning, I had to leave to do some job training. I was thankful a hospice nurse came in to check in on dad and change him. Due to his size, my wife stepped in to help. Again, what a saint that I married. She also dressed his wounds before hospice. Given these wounds were on his backside, it made things very uncomfortable but my wife stepped right in to do it. Throughout the day we had his TV going and he was able to catch up on the Mandalorian series to help him engage his brain and get it off of his condition. 

On Thursday my wife made some homemade waffles and my dad only ate a small amount. His attitude changed as well. I asked him if he wanted to eat more but he said he is having a hard time swallowing which is typical of those in hospice care but I could not believe we were already there. We talked for quite awhile that night and he was very open. In between fading in and out with sleeping I asked him if he wants to keep fighting this. He said “Yes! I am going to keep on fighting”. He was indifferent on many different questions but still had strong opinions on other topics. That night I changed him, applied barrier cream to his butt, changed his bedding and said goodnight to him. I want to mention that when someone is bed ridden, you can expect to wash sheets every day. You don’t make a big deal out of it…you just do it. There is a smell in the air from said accidents but you just keep going on. We had a air purifier in his room and ran the A/C on low because at this point he was very warm. 

When Friday morning arrived, it was clear that my dad's condition had worsened. Although he could still talk a little, he had a severely dry throat and could barely swallow. The hospice nurse arrived and helped me change him and the bedding. It's important to utilize all the supplies provided by hospice, such as chucks pads, which are incredibly useful at this stage. 

During this time, we noticed that when my dad opened his eyes to speak a few words, he couldn't focus and his eyes appeared glassy. The nurse offered him his medication in a gentle manner, and he struggled to swallow the first pill. What happened with the next pill is something I will never forget. The nurse placed the pill in his mouth, he took a drink, and started to choke. Unable to cough, we adjusted the bed to help him clear his airway. It was at that moment that my father started tearing up while the nurse cradled his head and held his hand. She reassured him that we would prioritize his comfort and not administer any more pills. I noticed that his fingers were turning ashy in color, which concerned both the nurse and me. 

After the nurse finished her tasks and left, I checked on my dad five minutes later and found him asleep, breathing shallowly. I let him rest while I attended to some tasks around the house. Later on, I sat by his side, held his hand, and spoke heartfelt words to him. I reminded him of my love and gratitude for everything he had done. As his breaths became shallower and quicker, I witnessed him slowly open his eyes wide before closing them and passing away. I held his hand and called out to him, realizing that he had indeed left us. I immediately contacted the hospice nurse, who was shocked to hear about his rapid decline. Another hospice nurse later informed me that people tend to pass away more quickly when they feel comfortable in their surroundings. I truly believe that this was the case with my dad, as he knew he was surrounded by love and care in my home. Even little Noah, my son, would ask to say hi to grandpa, and my dad always responded to him. 

Being involved in home hospice care is messy, smelly, and it pushes you to do things you never imagined. However, as I told my wife, the initial fear quickly faded and became a normal part of life. I am grateful that I didn't miss out on the blessing of being there for my dad, just as he had always been there for me. As for how the kids and my wife handled it, I will save that for another blog. I must mention that my wife was incredibly supportive and rushed home from work to be by my side. 

I thought the emotional trauma of witnessing my dad's passing was over, but then the funeral home arrived, and everything started all over again. I won't mention specific names, but the handling of this part was less than professional. One lady brought a gurney, but due to the narrow hallways and tight corners in our ranch-style home, she brought in a smaller device that would have left my dad's legs and head hanging. Then she brought in a longer, more rigid device, and as she moved him back and forth, I will never forget the look on his face as his head flopped towards me. I started to panic and began rubbing my head, which caught the attention of the hospice nurse, who asked me to leave the room. We were both shocked by the lack of care. 

There came a point when the two ladies were struggling to lift my dad, so I had to step in and help. Eventually, my cousin arrived and also provided assistance. The whole experience was incredibly traumatic, and I don't say that lightly. Finally, my dad was loaded into the vehicle and taken to the local funeral home. 

All of these things I shared is not draw attention but rather prepare a person for what is to come when someone chooses home hospice. Again, it is mentally…emotionally and physically draining but I would not have had it any other way. I love my dad and am finding great peace in knowing he is in the arms of his Savior.