Day 172: Lonely Pastors

Proverbs 17:9(The Message) Overlook an offense and bond a friendship; fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend!

This blog is geared towards pastors and those wanting to become a pastor. This is one vocation that if you have true friends...you must hang onto them. The life of a pastor can be a very lonely one. When you come on staff somewhere one of the mistakes I made at my first church was to think that everyone was my friend. In fact let me take it one step further...I made the mistake to think we were family after being with each other for so long. This is for another conversation however.

When you are a pastor (staff pastor) the biggest asset you have will be finding best friends and networking with them. As a youth pastor my best friend wasn't even in ministry and I had one or two youth pastors I could confide in. Why? The rationale is that if you are to transparent with some in the church it can usually end up in gossip and spread like wild fire within the church or other social circles. You will deal with things in ministry that only other pastors would understand. You will want to joke around and let your hair down but unfortunately cannot in some churches because you would be frowned on. I will be honest saying that my best friend? It is a gimmie to say "my wife" and outside of her and my brother...I don't have a best friend anymore these days. It is my desire that someday God will bring someone into my life who we would have a great friendship but until then...I thank God for family.

The life of a pastor can be a very lonely thing. If you are new or are not a pastor, this comment will not have made a whole lot of sense but that is the world pastors live in. Pastors want to be able to hang out with people and not have to talk "church" things all the time. Pastors want to be able to watch a football game without it turning into a counseling session. This is why I encourage Pastors to have at least one good friend outside the church. This is for your benefit so you do not become an island and end up not having anyone.