Enough with the Sports Analogies in Church—Seriously!

 

After 51 years in the church, I've seen it all (I think)—the good, the inspiring, and yes, the downright hilarious attempts some pastors and church leaders make to get people engaged. One trend that’s been driving me a little nuts lately is the overuse of sports analogies to guilt folks into coming to church, behaving a certain way, or even giving their last dollar.

Now, I love a good game, but church is not a stadium packed with screaming fans—and your spiritual life should not be about winning or losing a game.

I remember as a teenager at youth conventions, when the guest speaker would dramatically announce, "The Lord is coming back in 10 minutes!"—then 5 minutes… 2 minutes… and finally “10 seconds left, flood the altar!” The countdown was almost Olympic-level suspense. Those tactics are a bit vintage now, but guess what? The sports-themed guilt trips have taken their place.

Here's a classic one I've heard a million times: "The way you act at an NFL game is the way you ought to act at church!" Really? Picture this: the pastor makes a powerful point and suddenly someone stands up, yelling at the top of their lungs, “Amen! Yeah, preach it!” The whole congregation starts a chant, and the deacons sprint down the aisle like security at the Super Bowl. Awkward? You bet.

Or what if the pastor flubs a point? Imagine if the church packed stadium started chanting the pastor’s last name three times, then yelled in perfect unison, "YOU SUCK!" The sound would echo so loud, Grandma in the front row would probably drop her hymn book. Not exactly reverent, not exactly productive.

And don’t even get me started on the idea of dumping a jug of Gatorade on the pastor's head. First, say goodbye to your choir robes because the cleaning crew is going to have words with you—and that never ends well!

The bigger issue here is the spiritual manipulation sometimes lurking beneath these theatrical gestures. Anything to get folks to the altar. Anything to get those “heartfelt moments” captured on social media. Cameras rolling, lights on, it’s all about the photo op. But church is not a reality TV show or a halftime show.

I say, let’s bring it back: preach the Word. Share meaningful stories. Maybe throw in a well-chosen video clip to illustrate your point. But leave the guilt trips and the sports analogies to the locker room—and please, no more countdowns to the altar like it’s the final seconds of the championship game.

Church should be a community of grace, not a stadium of pressure. So if you want to cheer, clap respectfully—and maybe save the touchdown dances for after service.

And if you’re a fellow pastor or church leader tempted to step up with a sports metaphor, remember this: sometimes the best play is just being real.