My Dad: A Caregivers Journey Part 1 - Why?

On October 22, 2018, I received the call that my mother had passed away. My wife, Tracy and I left ballroom dancing lessons, and I dropped her off before heading to Milwaukee to deliver the heartbreaking news to my father. 

A few months later, I started taking my father out for lunch in Milwaukee regularly. However, one late winter morning, I arrived at his apartment to find him locked out. He had been standing outside for about three hours and was confused and unsure of what to do. Given that he had recently lost his wife and was under stress due to his upcoming move to Waupaca, I reassured him and used my Leatherman and clergy card to open the lock. 

This incident made me realize that I was becoming my father's caregiver. I helped him find an apartment and checked on his packing progress. After he moved to Waupaca, he lived with Tracy and me for three months as we waited for his ideal apartment to become available. On the first night, he stayed with us, he fell while getting up from the couch due to exhaustion. 

Over the months and years, I have dealt with many falls and late-night calls from the police to assist my father off the floor. I have made constant trips to medical appointments, and my brother has helped when he can. These days, I deal with insurance and hospital matters, and my wife helps change his bandages as needed. I bring him meals, wash his dishes, and more. 

Would it be easier to put my father in a nursing home? Physically perhaps, mentally absolutely not. I believe in preserving his dignity. Until you have walked this path with someone you love, you won't understand the importance of caregiving. My hope is that through my blogging, those who have never been in this situation will benefit from my experiences. 

My mother's photo vault is my greatest treasure, and looking back at the memories reminds me of all that my father has done for our family. Despite working two jobs, he found time to be a Royal Ranger commander, and plan our biggest family vacation was to Wabeeno, WI, not Orlando or the Grand Canyon. 

This blog is part 1 of an ongoing series about taking care of my father. I will share the ups and downs and everything in between so that perhaps these words will help you when it is your turn. Stay tuned!